Today has been a tough day, a roller coaster of highs and lows, all whilst going back to work. Crying into my red bull and flap jack was just about all I did, oh, and cry on the boss’s shoulder, literally! But then I man up, I become strong, resilient and positive, before turning into some sort of quivering, freaky bawlie mess! What the hell is wrong with me.
I can’t believe I’m in this position, at my age, after so many many years of being married. I’ve heard of it happening of course, but didn’t concern myself as, well, it wasn’t me. Even when I did hear of it, I was incapable of imagining just how painful it was, well ‘that’ll learn me‘.
Peaks and troughs of emotion are exhausting, I have a headache from hell, eyes that resemble a baboons ass and energy levels equal to that of a sloth on its worst day. I want to take time off work but then I change my mind and think I need to go to work, I want to talk about it then I don’t, I want to curl up in a ball and sleep for a couple of months then I don’t even want to close my eyes. This, versus how my husband is feeling, well sorry, I would tell you but getting hold of him on a golf course can prove difficult. Again, as in my last blog, is this a man versus a woman thing, is that why I really just don’t get it?